As I was cleaning out the back of my all-to-cramped closet, my rear-end sticking up in the air, I thought of the events leading up to this moment. Let me frame it in the form of a children’s book:
When she ponders the commandment, she’ll realize she needs money to fulfill it, so she’ll set aside some money for food storage.
Once she sets aside the money, she’ll realize she has find a place to purchase the wheat, so she’ll start calling the nearest home storage centers.
Calling the centers will remind her that she needs to find someone to care for her children during the hours of canning and the six hour round trip drive.
Arranging a babysitter for the drive will remind her that gas is now $3.56 a gallon. The high price of gas reminds her that the church now ships wheat from Salt Lake. She’ll do the math and realize that it’d cost as much money and much less time to order the wheat than to drive to get it.
When she places the order, she’ll realize that she has to explain to the office staff who normally picks up the mail. They’ll all get strange looks on their faces and ask “why do you need eight cases of wheat?” Their questions will lead her to explain a bit of the peculiarity of her religion (though she neglected to tell them that eight cases will really only bring her family up to 6 months worth) and she’ll offer to go to the post office to pick it all up.
When the wheat arrives, she’ll drive down to get it and load it into the minivan. Loading it into the van will remind her that she needs a place to store it, so she’ll clean out the remote recesses of her closet and start shoving the cases into the back corner. Storing the wheat will remind her that she needs more wheat (and rice and oats and beans and . . .)
I have to say that living in 800 square feet with two children, two cats, one husband and no storage space whatsoever outside of two really small, very poorly designed bedroom closets and one water heater closet, makes food storage an interesting challenge. A challenge which has taken me back to my days in the Relief Society and the manual that suggested using your food storage as furniture. You know, a water barrel with a lace doily makes a great side table.
Excuse me, I need to go sew a table cloth for my new wheat-based coffee table.
6 comments:
Man, you're funny! I guess I've never seen that RS manual about food storage and home decor.
Thanks for the laugh. I SO needed that tonight!
Brenda, I was handed that manual during my days out your way--it was a very very old manual. There were some very funny things in that manual. I think I still have it. Maybe I'll upload some scans (with my dial up).
someone I knew had a roommate who decided to forego a bed frame, she arranged her cans of wheat in a rectangle on the floor, put a piece of plywood on top, added a mattress and there she was. I know you could do better, maybe a dust ruffle made from weatherproof tarping!
I'm impressed with your dedication. We have a little wheat, but no wheat grinder. Not sure how much good that will do us, but we're trying to do what we can a little at a time, too ...
You are hilarious! I'm certain you could publish your little story there -- very entertaining. And I'm very impressed that you're working on your food storage, especially considering your lack of storage options. Great example!
Jannah, weatherproof tarping huh? I'm seeing 12 months of TP stored as valances over every window, of cat-litter stored in the sandbox, rice-filled throw pillows . . .
Denise, I'm sure in your time of need, gnawing on wheat will sound like a good option. Just know you can make cracked wheat in your blender. I think you can also soak and cook your wheat berries like a cross between rice and beans.
Hilary, oh, it's not so much good example as a bit of anxiety--I've managed to store plenty in my other homes (and, ironically, always managed to complain about not having enough storage space--I'd kill for my CO storage room now). But, if I can be a "good example" so be it. I will testify to the peace of mind several hundred pounds of wheat (and a grinder) brings to the soul.
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