No Joke

It's my birthday. Yay! I love birthdays. We've celebrated all weekend long. My husband made the most chocolatey super double dark chocolate cake ever. Yum. We had friends over for games and food yesterday. The kids (6 boys, 1 girl) ate and played and told jokes. The joke of the day in our household?

What is black, white, black, white, black, white, green?

3 Skunks fighting over a pickle!

HAAAA!

If you're Ethan, you then need to overanalyze the joke and try and figure out where the skunks got a pickle.

For my birthday I received some delightful phone calls and much unexpected facebook love. It all made me smile. I was chastised however for not posting often enough on this here blog. My excuse? Surgery. Not mine, but my husband's hand surgery. It's been a bit rough and who really wants to read me blogging about surgery and playing physical therapy chauffeur (excuse me, occupational therapy)? Or about feeling sorry for myself because I get to play nursemaid and keep up with my job and my mothering/household duties and the like. Like self-pity is funny.

But then, sometimes, surgery and self-pity can be funny, no? So in honor of my birthday, the household joke and the one-armed man-of-the-house, I propose a toast of one-armed man jokes. Here goes:

#1: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
Wave to him.

#2: A guy has one arm and decides he doesn't want to go on with life, not being able to do the things other guys can do with two arms. So, he goes up to the 20th story of a building and is trying to build up the nerve to jump. As he's standing there a guy comes walking on the sidewalk below.

The one-armed man notice's that this other guy has NO arms at all. He watches as the guy stops on the sidewalk and starts dancing and spinning in circles. The one-armed man thinks to himself how selfish he is... in that he has one arm and is ready to end it all! So, he decides to go down and talk to the No-armed man.

He goes down and walks up to the guy and says, "Hey man... I've been up on the 20th floor considering to end it all because I have only One arm... Here you are with No arms and are dancing around. What's your deal?

The guy with No arms says, "Arrrrr... dude I'm NOT happy! My nose itches!!!

#3: Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!

#4: A one-armed man entered a restaurant at noon and seated himself next to a dapper little other-people's-business man. The latter at once noticed his neighbor's left sleeve hanging loose and kept eying it in a how-did-it-happen sort of a way. The one-armed man paid no attention to him but kept on eating with his one hand. Finally the inquisitive one could stand it no longer. He changed his position a little, cleared his throat, and said: "I beg pardon, sir, but I see you have lost an arm."

The one-armed man picked up his sleeve with his right hand and peered anxiously into it. "Bless my soul!" he exclaimed, looking up with great surprise. "I do believe you're right."

#5: Never buy a pit-bull from a one-armed man.

#6: What has four legs and one arm?
A doberman on a playground.

Thank you! I'll be here all week!