A Post On Balance . . and being off

I attended a fireside last week and made notes from the speaker to the effect of "throw out your to-do list! Just seek guidance daily from the Lord, what He wants you to accomplish and He will direct your paths." It sounds fantastic and I have been trying. My other note, on a similar line of thought, was regarding not being pushed to and fro by the whims of the world, but allowing the Lord to lead you.

Today, as the week comes to a close, I feel pushed to and fro by my job. I am grateful for my job. I am well compensated and have an excellent working arrangement. I get paid hourly, so I shouldn't complain about extra hours, but my 10 hour a week job has lately become a 15-20 hour a week job. This week, as I signed off, I totaled my hours at 25.5! I know that doesn't sound like a lot to those of you working 40+ hour workweeks, but the benefit and challenge of working from home is that I am both a full time stay at home mother, and a part time employee. So, 25 hours seriously cuts into my time to care for my children and home. On top of it all, I've been trying to move taking care of myself up on the priority list, so that means I've been cramming in trips to the pool for laps and water aerobics (which also includes childcare arrangements).

At least I can say that my children are both still alive and well. My house on the other hand has undergone some serious neglect. And tomorrow, I'm gone all day. It's all good, I'm going to the temple, but I'm rather embarrassed for the babysitter that is going to be here all day.

Between the demands of my church calling, motherhood, and my homemaking, personal and occupational responsibilities, I'm feeling a bit off balance. I feel mostly at peace because I have been cramming in scripture study most days, and exercising and eating right most days, but I'm feeling some tension in the shoulders and I'm trying to let the state of my house not wear on me so much (should I mention that I made a batch of cookies for New Beginnings on Wednesday and the cookie cutters and flour are still spread all over the kitchen table on Friday evening--that's how bad it is.)

Maybe that's what that fireside was for--to help me let some things slide. To remind me that amidst my 7 hours of work today, to manage to spend a half an hour building lego spaceships with Elliot and another hour sitting next to the boys while watching Star Wars (and working on the laptop) and for now, to let the house slide down on the priority list. To remind me of how grateful I am for the dining hall benefit of my husband's job--at least I don't have to cook much right now, and how grateful I am to have a job in these times. And good enough health to be able to swim regularly, and healthy, happy children, and a husband with a job--not just a job, but a good job that he enjoys and where he is appreciated.

So perhaps I'm not so off-balance after all. Thanks for listening.