Act One: Fool Me Once
Scene
A woman, alone in a kitchen. Her husband has recently had hand surgery and she has been caring for him. Her child has taken ill as well. Her family is asleep after a long day.
Woman: Boy, don't I feel accomplished! I'm the ultimate caretaker! I've cooked, cleaned, sewed, cared for my child and my husband. I think I'll make me a cup of something warm and soothing before bed. You know what sounds oh so good right now? Orzo! I don't drink coffee, and hot chocolate is a bit too sweet tonight, so I'll have a bit of this barley drink--it's like liquid dark chocolate. Now, how do you use this little espresso maker anyway?
She fills it up, sets it on the stove to brew, finishes cleaning the stove and doing the dishes, when suddenly, the espresso pot explodes, spewing barley grounds all over the clean kitchen.
Woman: Well, that was dumb of me! Now I have to clean it all up again. I wonder what I did wrong? Oh well, a woman's work is never done! I sure wish I had help, woe is me.
Act Two: Fool Me Twice
Scene. Three nights later. Woman is again alone in the kitchen, exhausted, having taken ill herself along with her other child. She has spent all week caring for them and is feeling sorry for herself.
Woman: I really should just go to bed. I've spent all day caring for my family. I'm spent, I'm ill, I'm exhausted . . . but there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen, and who is going to wash them if I don't? Woe is me. Woe is me.
I know, I'll put on some water for a cup of something warm and soothing, and do these dishes. It won't take but a few minutes, I'll be in bed with a warm and soothed tummy and a great sense of accomplishment. I've read the instructions on the box, and surely I can make the espresso pot work this time.
She begins unloading the dishwasher, all the while feeling like falling over. The pot begins to spit. She rushes over to it, but neglects to remove it from the heat.
Woman: Here we go, look, it must just be up too high, the grounds are clogging the little vent. If I just stick a fork in---
EXPLOSION! The pot spews boiling water, scalding steam and barley grounds all over the woman, searing her exposed neck. She screams, takes off her clothes and runs to the shower, crying as she douses herself in cold water.
Woman: I should have just gone to bed.
END
7 comments:
Ouch! You should have just gone to bed!
Glad to see you're alive. I owe you a phone call.
Ouch Jen. That must hurts. Are you doing better now? Glad it didn't go to your face and leave a scar. Have you tried aloe? Take care and let us know anything that we can do.
Ugh! So sorry. If it helps you feel any better- I cut my thumb off yesterday slicing cheese. Doctor couldn't save it so I have to wait for the severed part to go black and fall off. I'll have a wierd looking thumb but thankfully, still, a partial thumb. Slicing cheese......how embarassing.......
Ouch, ouch, ouch! So sorry. I sure hope your whole family feels better soon!
Don't they have starbucks in your new locale?:) Sounds like you need to leave the warm drinks to the experts...know what you mean re: appeal as weather changes though:) hope it heals swiftly & you get your orzo soon without further technical difficulties/injury!
i once burned my neck ironing one of those big white collars on a flowered dress-while it was on me. that wasn't the first, or sadly, the last time i did it.
OUCH! You shouldda gone to bed! I hope you're recovering well.
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