Fun Facts With Jen

Of late, I have needed to obtain some information from state government websites and occasional phone calls to agencies. From this foray into the world of online governent services, I have learned much more than I had ever wanted to know. For your reading pleasure, here is a brief sampling of my extracuriccular fun facts:

1)Typically, there are different standards for handling medical waste that is still in recognizable human body-part form, than those for just generic blood, urine and feces. I would certainly hope so. Otherwise, it'd be quite a shock to those landfill monster compactor drivers.

2)Remember the days of flushing your expired pharmaceuticals down the toilet? Well, no more. Since we're getting healthy doses of the neighborhood's medicine cabinet in our drinking water, everyone is scrambling for some kind of guidance. Some of the best ones they've come up with so far are suggestions such as hiding your extra narcotics inside a sealed box, inside another sealed box in hopes that no errant drug dealer or small child happens upon it before it makes it to the landfill for the seagulls to get stoned on--seriously, that's the best they've come up with so far. Perhaps on that outer box you should write "Nope, no drugs with any kind of street value in here, mr. oxycontin addict!"

3)Any conversation with a government official that involves phrases like "so, suppose you're undergoing surgery and in the course of that surgery, blood is sprayed everywhere . . ." is just plain wierd.

4) Some states spend their tax dollars on useful, clear websites and online tools. Others apparently spend their funds on posting pictures of their lovely elected officials in various pantsuits with matching shades of lipstick, smiling at you, nay, laughing at you, as you laboriously attempt to navigate their painfully poorly designed sites (ah-ah-ah-chwestvirginia-ooo!!!--excuse me!)

Who would've guessed back in the days when I was obtaining my Bachelor's of Theatre Arts, that one day, I would be putting my incredible talents to use in such interesting ways.

I'm sorry I can't tell you any more about my assignment, I may have already said to much. Don't worry though, if it turns out I have to kill you, I'll be sure and properly dispose of both your body parts and fluids.