All I Want For Christmas

When my husband asked what I want for Christmas, I drew a blank. I'm not some altruistic person who never thinks about my own needs. It's just that, I don't want to be disappointed.

Of course I could have asked for some grand, expensive something or other. But, considering my first hand knowledge of our finances and the desire I have to remain out of debt and to travel some day and retire well, I know that money spent on frivolity now, would disappoint me later.

So, I said I'd like some bubble bath. And not Lightening McQueen, nor Elmo, nor Bubble Gum scented bubble bath. I would like some relaxing, grown-up, high-quality bubble bath. I'm pretty sure I'll get what I want.

However, as I've put more thought into it, I've realized there are at least two more things I would like for Christmas, both of which would probably cost little in the way of cash, yet are probably far too costly to request. And both harbor huge risk of utter disappointment.

First of all, I would like to never concern myself with garbage, compost, or recycling again. I want it to magically disappear before I can even think "Gee, the garbage is getting kinda full." Same goes for the recycling and compost bins. I don't want to have to think "Boy, it's pretty full, I should do something about that." Then, two days later, "I don't think I can stuff another thing in there". Nor arrive at the point where "if I trip over another empty bottle, I'm going to scream!" or even "Where are all those fruit flies coming from?" And especially, I don't want to ever have to utter, or even think the phrase "Could you please take that out?"

I just want it to magically disappear.

Secondly, caulk. I never, ever, ever, ever want to concern myself with caulk again. I don't want to think "Boy, that caulking is starting to look a bit shabby and moldy, I should really do something about it." No, I want the caulk redone before that. I don't want to have to calculate the next time we're going out of town exactly when to strip the old caulk (in the midst of packing everyone's suitcases and cleaning the entire house) so I have maximum drying time before applying the new caulk as we're walking out the door, in order to allow maximum drying time whilst we're gone. Nope, I don't want to even get to the calculating point. And I especially don't want to ever scrape the moldy old caulk from the tub, nor apply the new caulk in a "simple, narrow bead, smoothing it with my finger". Yeah, right. I never want to Google "caulk bathtub" again. And I certainly don't want to ever feel compelled to utter the phrase "Will you please re-caulk the tub?"

I just want it magically done.

See what I mean? Way too costly, and surely to be disappointing. But a girl can dream.

Tomorrow I'm taking a luxurious bubble bath in my newly caulked tub, after I take out the trash.