One Step Back

So now that I have people worried, let my add a little clarity to that last post. As you know, if you've been following the saga, we had some great promise with Matt's health. Things were looking up. I thought we'd hit bottom and were making our way back up out of the hole. Then, he began to backslide. He'd come home from Utah, done a couple weeks of therapy, was doing really quite well, then something happened. We don't know what, but something seemed to retrigger the nerves and they began to flare up again. We'd had him scheduled to return to Utah for another round of treatment and went ahead and sent him, thinking it was good timing. This round did not go as well as the first. We don't know what triggered it, but after his second treatment session of this round, his pain was significantly reduced and all was well, until a few hours later, the pain came back with a vengeance. And his whole leg, toe to hip began convulsing uncontrollably. He was in excruciating pain, his meds weren't helping, so my parents tried to take him to the hospital, but he couldn't walk with the spasms, so they called the paramedics who took him to the hospital on a stretcher. A bunch of Valium and morphine later, the spasms died down and they sent him home. We were able to get him back to Texas and are trying to figure out what to do next.

So, in the midst of a little pity party, I wrote that last post. It's alright though, we're just taking it a day at a time. We're resigning ourselves to the reality that no one knows when or even if things will get any better. That takes some adjustment. I'm looking into wheelchairs and a disabled parking placard. What else can you do but trudge forward? In the grand scheme of things, in the eternities, this will be but a small moment. Yet the things we learn in passing through these small moments will shape our very souls and define who we will be in eternity. I recognize we have been so greatly blessed and I recognize that there are so many people who have far greater challenges than ours, so I hope you don't think less of me for my occasional personal pity parties--I'll try not to post during the next one. Meanwhile, I hope to pass this life's test, choose the better part, avoid pity parties and try to find the joy here in the journey, even when it feels like I'm at the bottom . . .