Flatter Me, and Only Me

Dear ____________,

You are so smart and talented. You are beautiful and strong and a joy to be with. The world is in need of people like you, so go out and shine! You make the world better wherever you go.

With all my love,

_________________

Please forward/post this to every smart and talented person you know! Be sure and put their name in the header and sign yours, so they know it's a totally personal message. Please send it back to me as well, because I need someone to tell me I am smart and talented too. And because if you don't, you won't be so smart and talented any more.

Facebook is the new hallmark apparently. Which at least is more environmentally friendly. I've always just loved canned greeting cards--you know "happy birthday to my favorite person in the world, who is so talented and beautiful . . .". I mean really, I'm so talented and beautiful just like all the other talented and beautiful people who got this card. I know I'm supposed to feel flattered that when you read this canned compliment, it just made you think of me (and everyone else you know), but it just makes me feel sort of cheap.

If you really want to compliment me (or insult me for that matter) go ahead! Spend a moment and write it out, call me, yell at me, or even do it in a wall post, fine, tell me what you think about me. Otherwise, don't bother. I'm honestly not sitting around feeling sorry for myself that someone hasn't complimented me today. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for mass produced family/status updates--the same news can go out to all your acquaintances. And even general greetings--like "Merry Christmas Everybody!" Just please don't send me the same praise and accolades you send to everyone else. Or if you do, please let me believe it was sincere and individual and don't ruin it by telling me to forward or post it on everyone else's wall. Seriously--does that make anyone feel good? Does anyone actually do that? Oh wait, they must.

I got one the other day, and given the sender, I was oddly surprised, and mildy flattered if somewhat suspicious. Until I got to the end where I was instructed to pass it on. That's when I hit delete. Really, I'd rather just go about my life believing you think I'm fantastic and are just too busy being fantastic yourself to stop and tell me how fantastic I am. Don't ruin it by telling me that I'm fantastic in exactly the same way everyone else in your life is fantastic.

Is that so wrong? Am I a total cad? (Don't answer that.)

P.S. By the way, you are fantastic! So smart and talented!