Punishment

I once had a stage manager who went around saying “YOU’RE FIRED! And as your punishment, you have to stay.”

As I worried about losing my job and what we’d do about the money, my former boss (the one whom the new VP who fired me was replacing) discovered I was being let go and said he’d look into taking me back to work for him. I wasn’t convinced he could make it work, nor that I necessarily wanted to continue with this company and continued worrying (and re-doing our budget).

I finally came to the conclusion that it was going to be alright and was probably a blessing in disguise. But, that I would consider staying if my former boss came up with an acceptable arrangement. So, since I hadn’t heard from him, I decided to craft my own acceptable arrangement. I made my proposal and it appears I will now continue to be employed--for the time being anyway.

Then of course, I began worrying that I’d made the wrong decision and that perhaps I was just trying to thwart God who had been giving me a wonderful opportunity in disguise. A kind friend then made an outrageous comparison, which, though incomparable in magnitude, is nonetheless valid in principle. She reminded me of Abraham who was asked to sacrifice his only son Isaac. It was only when he had actually fastened Isaac to the altar that God intervened and stopped him. He had passed the test and his son was returned to him. In a much much smaller way, perhaps I needed to lay my employment on the altar, rework our family budget to accommodate it, and commit myself to being a more present and better mother before my job was returned to me. Hopefully now, under the slightly modified arrangement, I can focus on my truly highest priorities . . .

If I’d just stop spending so much time on the computer!