SOTM

If you've read my previous Kindergarten follies, you may be surprised to learn that Ethan was recently nominated Student of the Month for his kindergarten class. You may even be more surprised when you read the SOTM selection criteria:

You were chosen for coming to school with a great attitude and ready to work.

Yes, you read it correctly: a great attitude and ready to work.

Do you think they'd revoke his award if I video taped the morning screaming-whining-fighting-fit-filled ritual? Or do the only take into account the attitude and readiness once you hit school property, not actually the coming to school portion of the adventure?

I think I won't ask.

As you can see by the photos, this award is sponsored by a local grocery store. I told Ethan he was to have his photo displayed in the local Food Lion. As we don't shop there very often, I thought maybe for the next month, we should. Ethan is under the misconception that the Food Lion is a restaurant.

Mom, can we go eat at the restaurant where they have my picture?

What, is this Sardi's?

I explained that it is a grocery store and that perhaps we could go shop there. I still don't think he understood as later when I asked what his favorite food from Food Lion is (for the attached questionnaire) he replied: Mussels!

Considering this new development, I'm seriously thinking of appealing the revocation of my Mother of the Year title.

I Have Gas!

I'd begun to get a little panicky, which considering I still had half a tank of gas, seems a bit unreasonable. However, I hadn't seen any gas all week, except the one place with an hour wait, and I began counting how many trips to town I have to make this weekend and it occurred to me that if I don't find any gas before I take Ethan to school Monday morning, I'd be hard pressed to get home--and there's no promise of gas even then. The news is saying this shortage may last a month or so. So, I took a drastic step.

After I dropped Ethan at school in North Carolina, I turned around and drove 90 minutes back to South Carolina to run some errands I'd been putting off, and gamble that the rumors of gas in SC proved true. I knew that if I didn't find gas there, I'd have just burned the little that may have taken me through Monday morning. So, I found my heart beating rapidly as I approached my favorite fill stations--the first was empty, but as I got closer to the city, I began to see signs of hope. Stations with one grade, two grades, some with three grades and, best of all--NO LINES! God bless America and South Carolina. I now have gas!!! At least until sometime next week. I may have to make SC errands a weekly ritual.

Do You Have Gas?

Ethan got his midterm report today. Kindergarteners are evaluated on the following points:

Sits quietly and listens
Holds scissors correctly
Follows Directions
Writes first name
Keeps hands and feet to themselves

Ethan is doing very well. He received the highest possible mark (satisfactory) for everything but “writes first name” for which he received and “improving”. The fact that he writes it at all is a marked improvement in my book as he has never shown any interest in sitting still long enough to write anything at home.

He seems to be adjusting very well socially. As a side note, it appears the engagement is off. I asked him who he plays with at recess:

My club

Who’s in your club?

Madison and some other kids.

Do you still play with Sommer?

She’s not in the club.

Are you still getting married?

She’s not.

Are you going to marry her?

I don’t know.

We’ll just leave it at that. I’ll be sure he sends all gifts back and we’ll keep you posted.

As gas has become more and more scarce around here, I’ve begun having second thoughts about whether I should have homeschooled him. However, I realized that had he been in my care all day, his midterm report would have looked more like this:

Sits quietly and listens: Only when physically restrained
Cuts with scissors: Does hair count? How about stabbing your brother?
Writes name: Yes, with a stick in the dirt, while running around
Follows Directions: not if the directions include go to your room.
Keeps hands and feet to himself: see first response

So, I suppose school is a good place for him right now. However, if I don’t find gas soon, he’ll be getting up at 6am to catch the bus next week. Today I found one station with gas, but the line was two blocks up the street in either direction. I figured I’d likely use all my gas idling in line only to have the pumps run out as soon as I got there. Here’s hoping tomorrow’s gas prospects are better.

McBama '08

As long as we’re rewriting our entire financial structure in this country, I’d like to propose a major overhaul to the presidential election system.

As it is obvious we are in need of some serious bipartisanship in this country, and as both candidates are making all kinds of bipartisan promises, I suggest the ultimate bipartisan solution: The Demopublican Ticket.

I’ll leave it up to someone smarter than I to rewrite the rules for the primary elections and nominating conventions. Let’s just start once we have a nominee for each party. At this point, we can save weeks of ugly campaigning and millions of dollars by simply declaring a winner. One candidate is the President, the other the Veep.

But of course you ask, which is which? You may suggest we go old school where whomever gets the most votes in the general election is the Pres, the other is the Veep—which really is not such a bad idea. I don’t know why we got away from that. Regardless, if we did that, we’d still be wasting all kinds of time and money. So, since back when they did that they didn’t have smear campaigns and unlimited wealth with which to fund it, I have a modern day solution: Both would get to be president.

They would take two year turns—or just take every other year. After the nomination the two candidates get together and hold a best of 7 rock-paper-scissors competition, winner gets to pick who goes first.

Think of all the problems that could be solved! Think of the bipartisanship required! I’m all for it. Write your congressman today.

DeeJay Jazzy Jen

My brother recently gave me a rapper nickname: J-Hoisy. I wasn't too sure how I felt about it until I remembered my weekend DeeJay gig. I like the idea, but feel that perhaps I should go with DeeJay Jazzy Jen.

Our Primary Sacrament Meeting Program is in exactly four weeks. Will we be prepared? It's hard to say, but, the important thing to remember here is that it will be over. You may ask Gee Jen, I thought you were in the Primary Presidency, why are you overly concerned about the music? to which I would reply In a branch where sacrament meeting attendance hovers around 35, anyone who shows up regularly has more than one calling. So, you see, not only am I the second counselor in the presidency, I am also the Primary Chorister.

If you were my mother you might say Chorister huh? That's not so bad, that has always been my favorite calling. And you'd be right. If you were my mother. You see, my mother sings well, she leads music well, and perhaps more importantly, she's always been a chorister in wards that a) have more than 10 kids show up every week, thus allowing for both a junior and a senior primary, b) have primary teachers show up on a regular basis, c) have primary children whose parents generally require that they wear shoes in church, and perhaps most importantly d) have a primary pianist.

Now, I don't want to complain--well, yes I do. If a girl can't complain on her blog, where can she? I find it difficult to get a handful of children aged 3 to 11 with inconsistent attendance, to learn and sing primary songs with a cd accompaniment. I find myself constantly fumbling with the buttons, trying to rewind just a little bit to review a section, switching cds to change songs and so forth. But, I must say, I've gotten quite adept.

This Sunday was the day I decided to pass out the parts. We have exactly 3 sundays to prepare for the program so I figured we'd work the first half today, the second next week and the whole shebang the week before the program. Then I got to church and realized we had 8 children there (not poor attendance for our primary) and one teacher. So, I spent the second hour with the three from the 8-11 class, reviewing their parts. Then, just prior to the last hour where we were to have our grand rehearsal, four of the children went home with their parents. This left us with four children aged 8-6-5-3. Try having a rehearsal with that motley crew.

To their credit, they did well. We read their parts and practiced some songs. I have written the program such that if hell freezes over and everyone shows, we'll go a bit long. But, it's also been written such that we just skip the parts of no-shows. Assuming a certain percentage of no-shows, and assuming that every 8-12 year old who shows prepares their assigned 2 minute talk, we should be able to cover the proscribed 30-40 minutes. I suppose that is a blessing in disguise for these children. Whereas most children in regular wards will get to say a one sentence part if they're lucky, every one of these children have at least 3 parts, and the Valiant class have page long parts and 2 minute talks. So, it's a lot to ask of them, but also a good learning experience.

The icing on the cake for the upcoming program is that my husband will be out of town. So, in addition to DeeJaying and leading, I'll have my two-year-old on my lap (probably pushing the buttons on the CD player) and my five-year-old likely refusing to sit on the stand and opting instead to sit in the front row and fight with his brother over the CD player. DeeJay K-Diddy (Ethan) and DeeJay E-Monkey (Elliot). I'll let you know how it goes.

Guilty Pleasures

Elliot's new guilty pleasure is sitting in Ethan's car booster seat while Ethan's at school . . . don't tell Ethan.

Weak in the Knees

Knee replacement surgery runs in my family. As do torn ACLs, general knee surgery and obesity. I know what you're thinking--get over the obesity and you could do away with the knee problems. That is a good theory but considering that the men in my family don't generally get the obesity until their thirties and my brothers all tore their ACLs in their teens and twenties, I think that obesity is an aggravant, not a cause.

Now, being female, I did get the childhood obese end of the stick as it were. But, I never did tear anything. I was diagnosed with the dreaded Osgood Schlatter's disease as a youth. And although I get random pain and swelling alternating in my knees, I'd yet to incur any semi-serious to serious injuries--until last night that is.

What was I doing last night you may ask? Hiking through camp? Biking? Preparing for a triathalon? No, of course not. I was at orchestra rehearsal. You see, the tuba part had somehow mysteriously been lost in the mail and as I am now somehow the orchestra librarian, the best solution I could come up with at the start of rehearsal was to borrow the conductor's score, head to the library and copy all 100 pages for the poor tuba player who has like 10 notes the whole piece.

So, I found the college library, walked around to the front and began to ascend the wide staircase to the door at an angle. These steps are narrow enough for someone on an important mission to be able to take two at a time, I thought. So, I planted my right foot on the bottom step and pushed off, intendint to hit the third step with my left foot. Instead, I felt a bit of a pop on the outside of my knee joint, reconsidered taking the steps by twos and hit the second with my left foot. When I again planted my right foot on the third step, I felt significant pain.

Well, I couldn't let a little pain stop me. I proceeded into the library, made the copies, rushed back to rehearsal, finished rehearsal, carried everything to my car at a dead hobble, got in and started crying.

I called my husband and cried some more. Then I went home, took some advil and cried some more while I googled knee injuries.

Another thing that runs in my family is internet self-diagnosing. I have determined that I did something to my LCL (Lateral Collateral Ligament). Considering the non-violent nature of the injury and the fact that today it seems much improved, I believe I may have just over-streched the ligament. After my self-diagnosis, I determined that I just needed some rest (yeah right), some ibuprofin and ice. I have been hobbling around with a crutch or walking stick (until one of my children wanders away with it to play horsey or smack his brother). If it doesn't improve markedly in the next three days, I promise I'll call the doctor and let him know what the problem is.